Held By God: When Home or Relationships Are Not Safe
Intimate partner or domestic violence can be physical, sexual, emotional, verbal, spiritual , or financial abuse, or it can be threats of abuse or the destruction of your property.
If you have experienced harm, abuse, or fear in a relationship, you are not alone. You are loved and this space is for you.
It’s common for people who have experienced abuse to ask:
• Where was God?
• Why did God allow this to happen to me?
• Did I somehow cause this to happen?
• Does God still love me?
God is love (1 John 4:7-8) and God stands against evil (Psalm 5:4-5). We live in a broken world, where the harmful choices of one person can deeply wound another. The Bible does not pretend that suffering doesn’t exist, but it consistently reminds us that God is close to those who are hurting and does not leave them alone.
(see Deuteronomy 31:8; Psalm 22; 23:1-4; 55; 91:4; Matthew 5:4; 2 Corinthians 1:3-4).
No one deserves to be abused, under any circumstances. If you have been abused, it is not your
fault. Nothing you said or did could cause someone else to choose abuse. Abuse is always the
responsibility of the person who commits it.
God’s love is constant, consistent, unfailing, stable, unconditional, steadfast, and unmovable. That means God’s love does not come and go based on what you have experienced or what others have done to you. The Apostle Paul writes: “For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 8:38-39, NRSV). Nothing can separate you from God - and that includes abuse and the perpetrators of abuse.
The idea of forgiveness is complicated, and it can bring forward a lot of thoughts and emotions for survivors. Being told to “forgive and forget” can be harmful and does not reflect a healthy or biblical teaching. Healthy forgiveness for a survivor is not that simple but includes many things: a full understanding of the offenses committed, adequate space for their emotions, setting boundaries, releasing the right to hurt for being hurt, trusting that God can heal anything, and prayer. Forgiveness is never something that needs to be rushed. It does not mean pretending the harm didn’t happen, and it does not mean staying in an unsafe situation.
If you are in danger or need support, we want to help you connect with safe people and resources.
It’s common for people who have experienced abuse to ask:
• Where was God?
• Why did God allow this to happen to me?
• Did I somehow cause this to happen?
• Does God still love me?
God is love (1 John 4:7-8) and God stands against evil (Psalm 5:4-5). We live in a broken world, where the harmful choices of one person can deeply wound another. The Bible does not pretend that suffering doesn’t exist, but it consistently reminds us that God is close to those who are hurting and does not leave them alone.
(see Deuteronomy 31:8; Psalm 22; 23:1-4; 55; 91:4; Matthew 5:4; 2 Corinthians 1:3-4).
No one deserves to be abused, under any circumstances. If you have been abused, it is not your
fault. Nothing you said or did could cause someone else to choose abuse. Abuse is always the
responsibility of the person who commits it.
God’s love is constant, consistent, unfailing, stable, unconditional, steadfast, and unmovable. That means God’s love does not come and go based on what you have experienced or what others have done to you. The Apostle Paul writes: “For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 8:38-39, NRSV). Nothing can separate you from God - and that includes abuse and the perpetrators of abuse.
The idea of forgiveness is complicated, and it can bring forward a lot of thoughts and emotions for survivors. Being told to “forgive and forget” can be harmful and does not reflect a healthy or biblical teaching. Healthy forgiveness for a survivor is not that simple but includes many things: a full understanding of the offenses committed, adequate space for their emotions, setting boundaries, releasing the right to hurt for being hurt, trusting that God can heal anything, and prayer. Forgiveness is never something that needs to be rushed. It does not mean pretending the harm didn’t happen, and it does not mean staying in an unsafe situation.
If you are in danger or need support, we want to help you connect with safe people and resources.
